


Hajime and Tooru (a Romeo and Juliet Rewrite)

by Unoriginal_WasAlreadyTaken



Series: Haikyuu!! Unoriginal AU [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Medieval, Angst and Feels, Angst and Humor, Angst and Tragedy, Bi-Curiosity, Bittersweet Ending, Death, Dramatic Iwaizumi Hajime, Emotional Hurt, Everyone Needs A Hug, Everyone with a love interest dies, Falling In Love, Family Drama, First Meetings, Hanamaki is Oikawa Takahiro, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, Inspired by Romeo and Juliet, Irihata is Oikawa, It is basically Romeo and Juliet, It's all Romeo's fault, Iwaizumi is Hajime, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, Love at First Sight, M/M, Matsukawa is Iwaizumi Issei, Mistaken Gender, Mizoguchi is Iwaizumi, Murder-Suicide, My First Fanfic, Not a lot changed, Oblivious Matsukawa Issei, Oikawa Tooru Being Oikawa Tooru, Oikawa is Tooru, One-Sided Attraction, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Out of Character, Out of Character Hanamaki Takahiro, Out of Character Iwaizumi Hajime, Sad Ending, Sad Hanamaki Takahiro, She Will Knock Some Sense Into You, Side Story, Sobbing, Suicide, Swordfighting, Tags Contain Spoilers, Tanaka Saeko Is Superior, Teenage Drama, Temporary Character Death, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, They told me to paraphrase, Tybalt and Mercutio fight over Benvolio, Unhappy Ending, Unrequited Love, so i rewrote it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:56:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 36
Words: 14,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28673328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unoriginal_WasAlreadyTaken/pseuds/Unoriginal_WasAlreadyTaken
Summary: Two families, similar in social status, in the beautiful prefecture of Miyagi, is where this story begins. An old struggle sparks the flames of a new quarrel. Their feuding hatred is causing many uncivilized actions. From these two families emerge two lovers, destined for death; whose unfortunate, heartbreaking collapse distinguishes their parents’ battles. The frightening absence of their star-crossed love, and the prolongation of the families’ rage, is what fills the pages of this story. Only the death of their children could stop their foolish feud. Get ready for an epic tragedy, filled with comedic bits, an unnecessary side plot, and much reading in between the lines. Get ready for Romeo and Juliet.
Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Shimizu Kiyoko, Kindaichi Yuutarou & Kunimi Akira, Kyoutani Kentarou & Yahaba Shigeru, Matsukawa Issei/Tendou Satori, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Oikawa Tooru & Tanaka Saeko, Oikawa Tooru/Sugawara Koushi
Series: Haikyuu!! Unoriginal AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2101491
Comments: 13
Kudos: 15





	1. "Oh my god!"

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings for chapter: some joking about rape/loss of virginity  
> At first, I thought it would be easy, I guess I forgot I was turning a play into a story. Well, I hope you enjoy and will stay tuned! I don't have a set schedule for updating at the moment. I think that is it, sorry, this is my first time doing this.

Another sweltering summer afternoon, far lacking in a breeze, found Kindaichi Yuutarou and Kunimi Akira wandering through the crowded public square, harsh sunlight beating down on any surface under its domain, effectively creating a natural oven. They were loyal servants to the house Oikawa and had finished their day’s work. It had been a rather simple task of purchasing Lady Oikawa’s new cloth and delivering it to the mansion. Although the walk was for leisure, the men were equipped with swords and bucklers, small shields fastened to their belts, should they run into their enemies. However, this only served to warm them more, and they were already drenched in sweat. Kunimi’s complaints of this were quickly stopped by Kindaichi.

“Well, it’s better than being caught carrying coals to Blue Castle, isn’t it?”

“While I do agree that I don’t want to be a collier, what does that have to do with the weaponry?” Kunimi asked, teasing him. (AN: the phrase “carrying coals to Newcastle” meant to be taken for fools because Newcastle was full of coal. Colliers are ships used to transport coal)

Kindaichi, oblivious, tried to explain, “We’d need to be drawn!”

“Yeah, being caught like that probably would lead to horses pulling us to our public execution.”

The thought brought an unwelcome chill to Kindaichi, even on such a hot day. He loved serving the Oikawas, but if something dared threaten their public image, they could be brutal. One misstep and he would be cast aside, or worse; they could not afford to be played for fools. Kindaichi tried once again to get Kunimi to understand what he was saying.

“Shall the Iwaizumi house come around, I’ll quickly strike! I would be motivated to move,” he said, “and draw my sword! I’d be drawn!”

Kunimi mused, “but you are not quickly moved to strike.”

“A dog from that house moves me just fine,” grumbled Kindaichi.

“To move is to stir, to be brave is to stand and fight. Therefore, if you moved, would you not be running away?”

“Those dogs would move me to stand; if one dared to pass me now, for example, I’d stay by the wall and make them walk in the gutter!”

“The one you’re currently walking in?”

“Akira! Move over! The people who walk in the gutter are super weak! They’re losers,” Kindaichi whined, bringing their walk to a stop. Kindaichi pushed Kunimi closer to the wall as he stepped out of the gutter.

“Aren’t the people closest to the wall the weakest? Women usually get thrown into the wall, not the gutter. So, sticking to the wall would make you as weak as a woman.”

“Then I will push the maids into the wall and make the men walk in the gutters! Also, I’m hungry!”

The two took some time to discuss their options before deciding on a fairly popular place to grab their afternoon snack. Kunimi had agreed for the fact that it had an awning and he could get out of the sun, if only for a few minutes. It seemed that one of the gods must have been in their favor as a cool breeze finally blew over them. They began their trek again, Kindaichi attempting to urge Kunimi to walk faster.

“The quarrel between our masters is between their men as well,” Kunimi stated.

“Of course! It’s all the same! I’ll show those Iwaizumis how much of a bully I can be! Once I’m through with the men, I’ll move onto the maids; I’ll cut off their heads!”

“The heads of the maids?”

“Yes, the heads of the maids! What else would I be talking about?”

“Their maidenheads?”

“What! Well, take my words in whatever sense you want, you’ll twist them anyway.”

“I’m sure they’ll sense it if you take their maidenheads,” Kunimi couldn’t help but laugh.

Kindaichi started to turn red, “This, this is what I was just talking about Akira! I try to have a normal, serious, or sometimes even heartfelt conversation with you and this is what you do! Stop!” he complained.

“Okay, okay, Yuutarou, I’m sorry, I’ll stop,” Kunimi said, holding up his hands.

“Thank you, now what were we talking about?”

“Nevermind that, the shop is up ahead there.”

“Oh my god!


	2. "Part, fools!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure that I'm doing a good job of breaking up the dialogue, but hopefully, I'll improve. Anyway, this chapter also has the first fight scene I've ever written, so I hope that sounds okay.

“Oh my god!” Kindaichi screeched upon seeing two of the house Iwaizumi’s servants standing by the shopfront. He could recognize them anywhere. Yahaba Shigeru and Kyoutani “Mad Dog” Kentarou were placing their orders at the same place the two men had wanted a meal. Kunimi groaned as he realized a relaxing snack in the shade would not be coming. Kindaichi stood there, jaw dropped, for a moment before seemingly making up his mind.

“Alright, let’s antagonize them, let them take the fall for starting something illegally in the square,” he whispered conspiratorially.

“Ah, yes, I will frown as we pass them, perhaps even try to cut in front of them when we receive our food,” Kunimi replied wryly, tacking on sarcastic jazz hands.

Kindaichi, ever the oblivious, simply said, “No, that will never work.” He pondered the issue for a moment before snapping his fingers, “What if I bite my thumb at them! A dishonor if they let me get away with it!”

_It’s also illegal because it will start a fight _, Kunimi thought to himself, but it appeared to be too late to stop his partner as he approached the shop. Under the guise of ordering food, Kindaichi noticeably bit his thumb at the opposing two servants.__

____

“Did you just bite your thumb at us,’ Yahaba said in disdain, Mad Dog growling beside him, before quickly adding, “sir?”

____

“I did bite my thumb, sir,” Kindaichi replied, a stupid grin on his face.

____

“Answer his question,” Kyoutani snarled.

____

Kindaichi turned to Kunimi for consultation, “Would it be legal to say yes?”

____

“No,” Kunimi replied, shaking his head.

____

“No, sir. No, I did not, sir,” Kindaichi replied. After a moment of silence between the groups, he elbowed Kunimi.

____

Sighing, Kunimi asked, “Are you insinuating a quarrel, sir?”

____

“A quarrel? No, sir, simply asking, sir,” Yahaba replied, even as Kyoutani aggressively shook his head yes.

____

“Well, if you did want one, sir, I am your man; I serve a master just as good as yours,” Kindaichi said.

____

“Not better,” Yahaba said.

____

Seeing that Kindaichi did not know what to reply, Kunimi decided he might as well help him, they already made it this far. His mind was swiftly made up when he noticed a relative of his master’s in the distance. He knew if he did not defend his master’s name, he may not live. “Better,” he whispered to Kindaichi.

____

“No, sir, better, sir,” Kindaichi said smugly.

____

“You lie,” Yahaba gasped.

____

“Draw if you don’t believe me! Akira, you better remember how to slash!”

____

The men quickly drew their swords. The air around them seemed to tense for the slight second before the trading of blows began. In that second, the men calculated each other. Yahaba quickly charged Kindaichi. He deftly blocked the hard blow with his buckler. Both men had a similar fighting style and quickly became trapped in a cycle of blocking and slashing. The same could not be said for the other duel. Kyoutani had kept Kunimi on the defense with repetitive slashes to his sides. He had not been successful in blocking all of them, and he could feel the cuts’ burn. In the other fight, Kindaichi seemed to have finally gained the upper-hand after jabbing Yahaba in the gut with the handle of his sword. Before any of the men could make another move, a loud shout was heard.

____

"Part, fools!"

____

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think [insert fightscene] will ever not haunt me. It was cool at the time, but then I had to [insert fightscene]


	3. "Once more, on risk of death, all of you leave."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, we meet some important characters! Yay!

Iwaizumi Issei had been walking around town when he heard a commotion. He sighed, before rushing towards the noise. The only thing that disturbed Miyagi’s peace these days was the rivalry his own family was in. Issei did not see the point in maintaining such a petty feud with the Oikawas, especially when no one knew why they were fighting. He made a vow to himself to stop the violence whenever he could. As he grew closer to the brawling servants, he drew his sword, “Part, fools! Put your swords up! You don’t know what you’re doing.”

However, Oikawa Takahiro had also arrived.

“What! You’ll squabble with these worthless servants but not with me!” Takahiro whined, “I only wanted one duel Issei! Turn around and face me!”

“I’m not trying to fight anyone, Takahiro, I’m trying to keep the peace. Put up your sword or use it to part these men with me,” said Issei.

“What! Drawn, and you talk of peace? I hate the word as I hate hell and all Iwaizumis. Have at me, coward!”

With that, Takahiro lunged at Issei, who promptly deflected the attack with his sword. The start of their battle allowed the servants to continue their own. However, they had attracted a growing crowd of Miyagi’s other civilians. These people were annoyed with the Oikawas and Iwaizumis’ constant bickering and soon, a short one with wild, multicolored hair spoke up, “I’ve had it with these skirmishes! Grab your clubs and spears! Strike them down! Down with the Oikawas! Down with the Iwaizumis!”

The crowd joined his chant as they gathered their weapons. Soon, the Iwaizumis and Oikawas weren’t fighting each other, they were trying to defend themselves from the horde of angry civilians. The heads of the houses Iwaizumi and Oikawa had arrived late to the scene with their respective wives. Upon seeing their nephews brawling, they took action.

“Get me my long sword!” shouted Oikawa Irihata.

“Why are you calling for a sword? You need a crutch, you old man!” Lady Oikawa screeched.

“I’ll beat them with that too, but a sword is preferable,” Oikawa said, “now hand it to me. Old Iwaizumi has his in spite of me.”

“It’s you, you villainous Oikawa!” shouted Iwaizumi Mizoguchi, Lady Iwazumi tried to hold her husband back from the fray, but he said, “Don’t stop me. Let me go!”

“You don’t take one step towards the enemy!” she insisted.

However, before the fighting could get any more intense, Prince Kageyama Tobio and his protective entourage arrived. He took a long sip of milk to prepare himself for the amount of yelling he was about to accomplish.

“You degenerates! Enemies to peace, you have sinned by using your blades to harm your neighbors instead of defending them. Won’t you listen? You there! You men, you beasts who satisfy the fire of your hurtful rage with fountains of each others’ blood. On the threat of torture, with your bloodied hands, throw your ill-used weapons to the ground and listen to your angry prince!”

As the clang of metal weapons hitting the paved square was heard, Prince Kageyama made his way to the middle of the quarrel. From there, he continued his speech, but not before giving each member of the houses Oikawa and Iwaizumi a glare. “Three public brawls, caused by casual banter, by you, old Oikawa, and Iwaizumi, have disturbed our peaceful streets and made Miyagi’s civilians cast aside their dignified attire to take up their rusted arms to separate you from your rusted hate. If you ever disturb our streets again, you shall pay with your lives. Everyone else, go away for now. You, Oikawa, shall come with me, and Iwaizumi, come this evening to Karasuno, our court, where I’ll tell you what else I want from you. “Once more, on risk of death, all of you leave.”


	4. "In love?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 41 hits and bookmarks?!? Yay! Way more than I expected. Let's meet Romeo!

With that, the crowd quickly dispersed. Iwaizumi, Lady Iwaizumi, and Issei began to head to the Iwaizumi mansion when Iwaizumi spoke, “Who started this old quarrel back up again? Speak, nephew. Were you there when it began?”

“Your servants were fighting with the enemy’s before I arrived. I drew to part them and, while my sword was out, the fiery Takahiro came with his own drawn. He taunted me while waving his sword around. While we quarreled, many civilians gathered and joined the fight, at least until the Prince came to part us.”

“Oh, where is Hajime? Have you seen him today? I’m glad he was not at this fray,” remarked Lady Iwaizumi.

“Madam, an hour before sunrise, I was walking to clear my troubled mind. Underneath the grove of cherry trees that grows on the west side of the city, I saw your son. I made my way towards him, but he was aware of me and bolted towards the woods. I decided that we might be feeling the same way, not wanting to be found, yet tired of our own company. He was avoiding me, and I gladly shunned who gladly fled from me,” Issei said.

“Many a morning he’s been seen there, with tears increasing the fresh morning dew, adding more clouds to an already clouded day with his heavy sighs. But all too soon the cheery sun will rise in the east, chasing my sad son back home, where he locks himself up privately in his chambers, shutting up the windows against the beautiful daylight to douse himself in an artificial night. This mood of his, I feel, can only bring bad news, lest someone smart can fix what’s bothering him,” sighed Iwaizumi.

“My noble uncle, do you know the cause?” implored Issei.

“I neither know it nor can I learn of it from him.”

“Have you nagged him by any means?”

“Myself and many other friends, but he keeps to himself. He wants no friends but himself, I don’t know if he’s a good friend to himself, he certainly keeps his own secrets. He is like a flower bud that is so infested with parasites it refuses to open. But if he does, he will learn we are just as willing to help as we were to know what caused this sorrow.” They made it back to the mansion and saw Hajime sitting in the mansion’s elaborate garden, complete with gorgeous flowers and a beautiful pond, but even that could not bring the poor man joy. Even from a distance, it looked as though the immense beauty pained him somehow.

“Look, there he is. So please, step aside. I’ll find out what the cause is or he’ll have to keep rejecting me,” said Issei.

“I hope you stick around long enough to hear the true story,” Iwaizumi said before leaving with his wife.

“Good afternoon, cousin,” Issei called as he made his way towards Hajime.

“Is it really only the afternoon?”

“It’s only just struck two o’clock.”

“Oh my, sad hours seem so long. Was that my father who left in a hurry?”

“It was. What sadness lengthens your hours?”

“Not having that which in having would make them short,” Hajime supplied, fiddling with some roses.

Issei asked, “In love?”


	5. "I do love a woman."

“Out,” Hajime said.

“Of love?”

“Of her favor, when I am in love with her.”

“It’s sad; Love looks so gentle, but it can tear apart those who experience it.”

“What’s sad is that love is supposed to be blind, without eyes it makes you act to its will. Where shall we eat? Oh, is that blood? Was there a fight happening?

“No, don’t tell me, for I already know. The fray had much to do with hate, but even more so with love. Why then, O brawling love, O loving hate, O love created from nothing, O sad happiness, serious foolishness, Misshapen chaos of beautiful forms! Love is light and heavy, bright and dark, sick, and healthy, still-waking sleep, but at the same time, it is not! This love I feel has no love returned! Do you dare laugh?”

“No, coz, I’m crying,”

“Good man, at what?”

“I’m crying at your good heart’s oppression.”

Hajime spoke, eyes on the rose in his hand, “Yes, this is what love does. My own grief lies heavily in my chest, which you will add your own to with your pity. I have much sadness already, don’t add more grief to my own. Love is smoke made of a lover’s sigh; when it clears, a fire sparkles in lovers’ eyes; chagrined love creates a sea of nourished, loving tears. What else is love? A deceptive madness, a sweet you’ll choke on. Farewell, my coz,” Hajime said, and began to move through the garden.

“Wait, I’ll come along. Leave me like this, and you’re doing me wrong,” Issei said.

“Tut, I have lost myself. I am not here. This is not Hajime, he is elsewhere.”

“Tell me seriously, who is it that you love?”

“What, shall I groan and tell you?”

“Groan! No, but seriously tell me who.”

“You wouldn’t tell a sick man he “seriously” has to make a will. A word ill urged to one that is so ill. Seriously, cousin, I do love a woman.”


	6. "I'll show you how to forget, or else die in debt."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to post all of the work I have written, so you guys can "catch up," but at the same time, I want a buffer. I have no self-control so I post two times a day anyway. ;-;
> 
> Edit: I accidentally posted some of the last chapter here again. Whoops, it's deleted now.

“I guessed that when I guessed you were in love,” said Issei.

“A right good marksman! The woman I love is beautiful,” Hajime said.

“A beautiful mark, coz, is soonest hit.”

“Well, in that hit you miss. She’ll not be hit with Cupid’s arrows. She has Athena’s wit and is shielded by the strong armor of chastity. She is well-armed against love’s weak, childish bow, she lives uncharmed.

“She will not listen to loving words, nor let you look at her with loving eyes, nor open her lap to saint-seducing gold. Oh, she is rich in beauty, only poor that when she dies, her beauty dies with her.”

“Then she has sworn that she will live a virgin?”

“She has, and in that she makes huge waste of her beauty, for she will never have children, and her beauty is lost to future generations. She is too beautiful, too wise, wisely too fair, to deserve bliss by making me disappear. She’s sworn off love, and in that vow I live dead, living only to talk about it now.”

“Be ruled by me. Forget to think of her.”

“O, teach me how I should forget to think!”

“By giving liberty to your eyes, examine other beauties.”

“That will only make me think of how beautiful she is. Beautiful women wear black masks over their faces, which only make us wonder how beautiful they are underneath. A man who goes blind cannot forget the precious treasure of eyesight he lost. Show me a really beautiful girl; What does her beauty serve as but a note telling me where I can see someone even more beautiful. Farewell, you cannot teach me to forget.”

“I’ll show you how to forget, or else die in debt.”


	7. "Ah, two people are coming now!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It always looks longer in the google doc ;-;

Across the town, in a similar mansion, the Oikawas resided. In that plush mansion was a visitor, the pleasant Count, Sugawara Koushi. He had requested to speak to Oikawa about an answer to his older request. They sat in the parlor, making pleasant conversation as a servant, Hinata Shoyo, brought them refreshments.

“But Iwaizumi is bound as well as I, and we share the same penalty. And it’s not hard, I think, for two old men to keep the peace,” Oikawa said.

“You are both of honorable reputations, and it’s a pity you’ve lived at odds for so long,” Sugawara said, "But now, my lord, what do you say to my request?”

Okawa sighs, taking a sip of tea, “Saying over what I’ve said before, my child is a stranger to the world. He has not yet become fourteen years old. Let two more summers pass before we may think him ready to be wed.”

“Younger than him have married and been happy.”

“And those so early married are too soon hurt and matured. The earth has swallowed my every hope but him. But woo him, gentle Koushi, gain his heart. My consent is not the only one you must receive. He must agree to marry you, my blessing only confirms that choice. Tonight, I am holding a feast we have celebrated for many years, to which I have invited my many treasured friends, and I would like to add you as well. At my humble house look to behold dazzling stars that make the dark heavens bright. You’ll gaze upon all of the young beauties, fresh as April flowers escaping winter. Once you hear and see all of these girls, you’ll like the girl with the most merit and, when there are so many, mine might not be the one. Come with me.”

They stood to leave the room and before he exited, Oikawa turned to Hinata. He handed him a paper containing a list of names and said, “Young fellow, trudge through the beautiful Miyagi. Find the people whose names are written on the paper and say to them they are welcome to my house tonight.”

As Hinata walked around Miyagi, he grumbled to himself, “Find those whose names are listed here? That’s like telling a shoemaker and a tailor to do each others’ jobs! Telling a fisher to paint, and a painter to fish! I am sent to find the people listed here when I cannot read. I must find someone who can quickly! Ah, two people are coming now!”


	8. "To rejoice in the woman I love"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, drama, *laughs in I have no idea what I'm doing*

Being caught up with the list, Hinata hadn’t realized he had wandered towards the Iwaizumi house, where Hajime and Issei were, exiting the garden. He ran up to them, his despair quickly turning to excitement.

“Tut, man, one fire can put out another’s burning. One pain is lessened by different anguish. If you make yourself dizzy, be helped by backward turning. One desperate grief will cure the one that is on your mind. Take you a new love infection in your eye, and the old poison will die,” Issei was telling Hajime.

“Your plantain leaf is excellent for that,” Hajime said.

“For what, Hajime?”

“For your broken shin.”

“Why Hajime, are you mad?”

“I’m not crazy, but I’m more bound than a madman is. Shut up in prison, kept from my food, whipped and tormented, and--Good evening, good fellow,” said Hajime as he saw Hinata.

“God give you a good evening, I pray. Sir, can you read?” Hinata asked.

“Yes, I can read my own fortune in my misery.”

“Perhaps you have learned it without a book, from life, but I pray, can you read anything you see?”

“Sure, if I know the language and the letters.”

“You say honestly, well, have a good day,” Hinata said.

“Stay fellow, I can read,” said Hajime, “Seigneur Martino and his wife and daughters; Count Anselme and his beautiful sisters; The lady widow of Vitruvio; Seigneur Placentio and his lovely nieces; Tendou and his brother Valentine; My uncle Oikawa, his wife and daughters; My beautiful niece Kiyoko and Livia; Seigneur Valentio and his cousin Takahiro; Lucio and the lively Helena. A fair assembly. Where are they meeting?”

“Up.”

“Where, to supper?”

“To our house.”

“Whose house?”

“My master’s.”

“Indeed. I should have asked you that before.”

“Now I’ll tell you without asking. My master is the great, rich Oikawa and if you’re not from the house of Iwaizumi, I pray you come and have a cup of wine! Have a nice day!” Hinata said, before promptly leaving the two men to finish his task.

Once he heard of the feast, Issei knew he had to convince Hajime to go, to cure his lovesickness. It would also be a great chance to see their friend Tendou Satori who had been on the guest list.

“At that old feast of Oikawa’s is the beautiful Kiyoko, who you love, along with all the admired beauties of Miyagi. Go there, and compare her face to some that I will show you, and I will make your swan turn into a crow,” he said. (AN: she is already a crow, a beautiful crow)

“When my eyes maintain such falsehood, then turn my tears into fires, and those who often drown will be burnt for such obvious lies! One more beautiful than my love? The sun itself has never seen her match since the world began.”

“Tut. You saw her first, no one else next to her, only herself poised in either of your eyes. There was no one to compare her to. But, let her beauty be weighed against some other maid that I will show you at the feast, and you won’t think she’s the best anymore.”

“I’ll go along, not because I believe such a sight will be shown, but to rejoice in the woman I love.”


	9. "Yeah"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's Juliet! Imagine being Tooru, a boy talked about like a girl in such times.
> 
> Get ready for _Sexual Jokes with Saeko_

Before the feast, Lady Oikawa decided it was time for an important talk with her son. She was on her way to his room when she saw Tanaka Saeko, Tooru’s nurse. She asked, “Nurse, where is my son? Call him to me.”

“Now, by my maidenhead at twelve years old, I already told him to come! God forbid! Where’s this boy? Tooru!”

Upon hearing his name, Tooru appeared beside Saeko, “What is it? Who calls?”

“Your mother.”

“Madam, I am here. What do you want?”

“I’ll tell you what--Nurse, give us a while, we must talk privately-Wait, Nurse, come back again, I have remembered, you can hear our secrets, you are our counsel. You know my son’s young age.”

“Yes, I can tell his age to the hour.”

“He’s not fourteen.”

“I’d bet fourteen of my teeth, alas, I only have four, he is not fourteen. How long is it until Lammastide?”

“Two weeks and odd days.”

“Whether they are even or odd, of all days of the year, come Lammas Eve at night, he shall be fourteen. He and Susan--God rest all Christian souls!--were of the same age. Well, Susan is with God. She was too good for me. But, as I said, on Lammas Eve at night he shall be fourteen. Yes, he will. Indeed, I remember it well,” Saeko said fondly as she got caught up in memory, “It’s been eleven years since the earthquake. He was weaned--I will never forget--of all the days, on that day. I had laid wormwood on my breast, sitting in the sun under the dovehouse wall. My lord and you were in Mantua.--Boy, do I have some brain!--But, as I said, when he tasted the bitter wormwood on my breast, the pretty fool got aggravated and started to quarrel with it! Then the dovehouse shook with the earthquake. There was no need to tell me to get out of there! And since that time it has been eleven years. Back then he could already stand alone. I swear he could run and waddle all about, for just the day before he had hurt his forehead. And then my husband--God be with his soul! He was a merry man--picked up the child. ‘Oh,’ he said, ‘Did you fall on your face? You will fall backward when you grow wiser, won’t you, Tooru?’ And I swear, the poor beauty stopped crying and said, ‘Yeah.” Oh, to see a joke come true! I bet I will never forget it, even if I live a thousand years! ‘Won’t you, Tooru?’ and the pretty fool stopped crying and said, ‘Yeah,’” finished Saeko, through fits of laughter.


	10. "Bigger in other ways."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tooru is done with being feminized. His mom and his nurse fangirl over his "future husband."

“Enough of this. Please, hold your peace,” said Lady Oikawa.

“Yes madam. Yet I cannot help but laugh, to think he would stop crying to say, ‘Yeah.’ And yet, I swear, he had a bump as big as a young cockerel's stone on his forehead. A nasty bruise and he cried bitterly. ‘Yes,’ said my husband, ‘Did you fall on your face? You will fall backward when you come of age, won’t you, Tooru?’ He stopped crying and said, ‘Yeah!’”

“Now you stop too, Saeko,” said Tooru.

“Peace, I am done. May God choose you to receive His grace! You were the prettiest baby I ever nursed. And if I live to see you get married, I’ll have my wish.”

“Well, that ‘marry’ is the very thing I came to discuss with my son. Tell me, Tooru, what do you think about being married?” asked Lady Oikawa.

“It is an honor I have not thought of,” Tooru said.

“‘An honor!’ If I weren’t your only nurse, I would say you sucked wisdom from the breast that fed you!” Saeko chimed in.

“Well, think of marriage now. Younger esteemed ladies than you here in Miyagi are already mothers. By my count, I was your mother right about your age, while you are a virgin. Thus I’ll say this quickly: The valiant Koushi seeks you for his love.”

“What a man, Tooru! Boy, he’s as great a man as all the world. He’s perfectly sculpted from wax.”

“Miyagi’s summer doesn’t have such a flower,” said Lady Oikawa.

“No, he’s the flower. Truly, a beautiful flower,” said Saeko.

“What do you say, can you love the gentleman? Tonight, you shall meet him at the feast. Read over the volume of young Koushi’s face and find delight written there with beauty’s pen. Examine every one of his features and see how they work together to make him beautiful. And what obscured in this fine volume can be found in the margins of his eyes. This precious book of love, this unbound lover, he only lacks a bride, a cover, to make him perfect. The fish live in the sea, as is right, it is not right for a beauty like you to hide from him. He’s a book that many eyes admire, and his bride will also be admired. You would share all that he possesses, and you would lose nothing.”

“Lose nothing? No, you would gain. Weight at least, men make women bigger by getting them pregnant,” said Saeko with a wink.

“I can’t get pregnant, Saeko, I’m a man.”

“Sorry, I forget, I’m sure he’ll make you bigger in other ways.”


	11. "Dance, dance, dance."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're almost to the feast! One rant to go! XD

“Speak briefly. Can you accept Koushi’s love?”

“I’ll look at him to see if I like him. But, I will not look deeper than you consent to,” Tooru said.

Then, Hinata entered the room. He addressed Lady Oikawa, “Madam, the guests have come and dinner has been served, but everything else is out of control! People are calling for you, some are asking where Tooru is, and Saeko is being cursed in the pantry. I must go and serve the guests, but please, follow me!"

“We will come with you--Tooru, the Count is waiting for you.”

“Go, boy, seek happy nights to end happy days.”

With that, they all headed to the feast. Tooru and his mother to interact with their guests, while Saeko and Hinata rushed to attend to their tasks. Hajime and Issei were walking to the party. The sun had set a while ago, but their torch provided enough heat and light to get to the Oikawa mansion. They reached another group heading towards the feast, where they found Tendou. He broke off from the group to walk with them. After a few moments of silence, Hajime spoke up, uncertain about what would happen at the feast.

“What shall we say as an excuse? Or shall we go in without an apology?”

“It’s dated to give a long speech. We won’t have a Cupid blinded by a scarf, bearing a thin, lacquered bow, scaring the ladies like a scarecrow, nor a memorized prologue, indistinctly spoken for our entrance. Let them measure us by what they will. We’ll give them a dance and be gone,” Issei replied.

“Give me a torch. I am not up for dancing. Being heavy with grief, I will hold the light.”

Tendou chuckled, “No, gentle Hajime, we must have you dance!” With that, he pushed Hajime out into the open and started chanting, “Dance, dance, dance.”


	12. "It's not wise to go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shall we get closer to the feast without actually getting there yet? Yes, yes we shall.

“No, believe me. You have dancing shoes with nimble soles. My soul is made of lead, and it stakes me to the ground. I cannot move.”

“You are a lover. Borrow Cupid’s wings and use them to soar above a common jump.”

“I have been pierced too deeply with his shaft to soar with light feathers, and so jump. I cannot leap any higher than my dull sadness. I sink under love’s heavy burden.”

“If you sink in it, you will burden love--too great an oppression for such a tender thing,” said Tendou.

“Is love really a tender thing? It is too rough, too rude, too boisterous, and it pricks like a thorn,” Hajime said.

“If love plays rough with you, play rough with love and have sex! Prick love for pricking you, and you’ll beat it down!” Tendou laughed, “Give me a case to put my face in! A mask for my mask.--What do I care if curious eyes see my imperfections? On this mask are the black eyebrows that shall blush for me.”

“Come, knock and enter,” said Issei, seeing their destination on the horizon, “As soon as we get in, let’s all start dancing.”

“A torch for me. Let the playful people with light hearts tickle that senseless rush with their heels. I am proverbed with an old saying: you can’t lose the game if you don’t play. The game never looked so fun, but I am done.”

“Tut, dun’s the mouse, the policeman on a night patrol. If you are dun, we’ll draw you from the mud, or--save your reverence--love, where you are stuck up to your ears. Come, we’re wasting daylight, ho!” said Tendou.

“No we’re not, it’s nighttime,” said Hajime.

“I mean, sir, with this delay, we are wasting our torches in vain, like the sunshine in the day. Use your common sense to figure out what I mean, instead of trying to be clever or trusting your five senses.”

“And we mean well in going to this masquerade ball. But, it’s not wise to go,” said Hajime.


	13. "Strike the drum."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who gets another chapter because I just wrote an angsty part and I want to post it more quickly so I'm not crying alone. You do! I'm sorry, [insert character name here], I have hurt you deeply. Don't worry, It's beautiful (/>^<)/ 
> 
> *no angst in this chapter, there will be at least one more chapter in between, but rest assured you will be hit in the feels sometime tomorrow, so come back!*
> 
> I guess I have discovered the bad part about a buffer, and I really liked it before this too, now it just mocks me, like the cruel savage it is

“Why, may I ask?”

“I dreamt a dream last night.”

“And so did I.”

“Well, what was yours?”

“That dreamers often lie.”

“They lie in bed, asleep, while they dream the truth.”

“Oh, then, I see Queen Mab has been with you.”

“Who’s Queen Mab?” Issei asked.

“She’s the fairies’ midwife, and she is no bigger than an agate stone on the finger of a councilman. She rides in a wagon drawn by a team of little atoms over men’s noses as they sleep. Her wagon spokes are made of spiders’ legs, her wagon cover of the wings of a dragonfly, her harnesses of the smallest spider web, her collars of moonshine’s watery beams, her whip of thread attached to a cricket’s bone. Her wagon driver is a small, grey-coated gnat; he’s not half the size of a little roundworm that comes from the finger of a lazy young girl,” Tendou explained, “Her wagon is a hazelnut, made by the carpenter squirrel or old grubworm. They’ve made wagons for the fairies for as long as anyone can remember. In this wagon she gallops through lovers’ brains, every night, making them dreams of love. She rides on the courtiers’ knees, making them dream of curtsying. Over lawyers’ fingers, who will dream of taxes. Over ladies’ lips, which she often blisters as their breath smells of candy, which angers her, to make them dream of kisses. Sometimes, she gallops over a courtier’s nose, making him dream of making money off of someone. Or she’ll tickle the nose of a priest with a tithe-pig’s tail, making him dream of a donation. Sometimes she drives over a soldier’s neck, making him dream of cutting a foreign throat, of breaking down walls, of ambushes, of Spanish swords, and of enormous cups of liquor. And then, drums beat in his ear, startling him awake. And, being frightened, he swears a prayer or two and goes back to sleep. This is the very Mab that tangles the manes of horses during the night and bakes the tangles into hard, matted masses. And upon untangling them, there is much misfortune. Mab is the hag, when virgins lie on their back, who gives them false sex dreams and teaches them to hold their lover and how to bear children. She is the one--”

“Peace, peace, Tendou, peace! You’re talking of nonsense,” said Hajime.

“True, I talk of dreams, which are the children of an idle brain. Dreams are nothing but a vain fantasy, which is as thin as air, and more inconsistent than the wind, who blows even now from the frozen north, and, being angered, turns his face to the dew-dropping south.”

“That wind you talk of has blown us from our path. Supper has passed, and we will get there too late,” Issei said.

“I fear we’ll get there too early, for I feel there is a horrible consequence beginning with the party will lead to an untimely death. But whoever’s in charge of where my life’s going can steer me wherever they want. Onward, loverboys!” said Hajime. 

“Strike the drum,” said Issei as they finally arrived at the door.


	14. "When hosting a party."

As servants cleaned the area after the feast, Hinata realized that someone was missing.

“Hey! Where’s Tsukishima!” he cried.

“Good manners only lie in one or two men’s hands, and they are unwashed too, it’s a bad thing,” said Yamaguchi Tadashi.

“Away with the stools, remove the sideboards, and take care of the plates,” Hinata instructed, “If you’re a good friend, you’ll save me a piece of marzipan! And if you love me, have the porter let in Susan Grindstone and Nell.-- Inuoka and Yamaguchi!”

“Yes, I’m ready!” said Inuoka Sou.

“We’re looked and called for in the great chamber.”

“We cannot be here and there. Cheerily, boys. Be brisk for a while, and the longest liver gets all,” said Yamaguchi.

With that, the boys all left for the great chamber. The space was ready to be filled with cheerful, dancing guests. Oikawa and his family, including his cousin, Takahiro, Lady Oikawa, and Tooru, entered the chamber with their guests. Hajime and Issei had entered undetected alongside Tendou.

“Welcome, gentlemen! Ladies that have their toes. Ah, my ladies! Which of you don’t have corn in your toes will have to dance.--Will you refuse to dance? She who acts shy, I will swear, has corn in her toes. Does that hit close to home?--Welcome, gentlemen! I have seen the day that I had worn a mask and could whisper a tale in a fair lady’s ear to charm her. That time is gone, gone, gone.--You are welcome gentlemen.--Come, musicians, play!” said Oikawa.

As the music started, all of the guests began to dance. This, however, was not true for Hajime, who stayed to the side. Oikawa turned to the servants, “Make room in the hall! Make room in the hall!--And shake a leg, girls!--More light, you rascals. And flip the tables up and get them out of the way. Quench the fire, the room is too hot.”

With those final instructions, he turned to his cousin, “Ah, my man, this unlooked-for fun comes well--No, no, sit, sit, good cousin Oikawa. You and I are past our dancing days. How long has it been now since we’ve put on masks for a party.”

“I swear, it must have been thirty years.”

“What, man. It hasn’t been that long. It’s been since Lucentio’s wedding. Let the years come as quickly as they will, it was only twenty-five years ago that we were masked,” Oikawa said.

“It’s been longer, it’s been longer. His son is older than that, sir. His son is thirty.”

“Will you really tell me that? His son was a minor two years ago!”

Across the room, Hajime had spotted his next love for life. He had to know the girl’s name. He asked a servant, “Who is the lady that is holding the hand of the knight over there.”

“What lady, sir?”

“That one, right over there.”

“I don’t know who you’re talking about, sir. I’m sorry, I must get back to work now.”

Hajime sighed, “Oh, she teaches the torches to burn bright! She hangs on the cheek of darkness like a rich jewel in an Ethiope’s ear. She has beauty too rich for use, too dear for death. She is like a snowy dove trooping with crows, she overshines her fellow ladies. When the dance is done, I’ll watch where she stands, and, touching hers, I’ll bless my rough hand. Did my heart love until now? My eyes were liars, for I’ve never seen true beauty until tonight.”

“This, by his voice, is an Iwaizumi!” Takahiro hissed, standing a few feet away, “What dares this peasant to come here? Is it to sneer and scorn at our celebration under a mask? Now, by the honor of my kin, I must duel him, it won’t be a sin!”

“Why, what’s going on, nephew? What has you so stormy?” asked Oikawa.

“Uncle, that is an Iwaizumi, our enemy. A villain who has come here in spite to mock scorn at our celebration tonight.”

“Is it young Hajime?”

“It’s him, that villain Hajime.”

“Calm down, gentle nephew. Leave him alone. He holds himself like a dignified gentleman. And, to tell the truth, Miyagi brags of him being a virtuous and well-behaved youth. I would not, for all of the wealth in this town, slander him in my house. Therefore be patient. Take no note of him. It is what I want, so if you respect me, show a fair presence and remove your frown. It is not the way one should look when hosting a party.”


	15. What he wanted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me a long time to realize it said goodman boy instead of something else.
> 
> Get ready for angst! It could be good or it could be so bad it's funny. I don't know. Actually, I've freaked myself out about this chapter because the angst is the side story, not from Romeo and Juliet, so I can't place blame on someone else if it's horrible. So, enjoy!  
> I'm sorry Tybalt and Takahiro. I meant to do this, but I didn't. 
> 
> To really hit yourself in the feels you should listen to a song like "I Hate U, I Love U" or "Heather" or anything else to that effect while reading.
> 
> Also, a **warning:** There's a vague mention of a *suicide note, so if you don't want to read that, please stop reading at: "He stopped as a thought came to him" and pick up on the next chapter ;)
> 
> *it's not actually that kind of note, but it seems like it in context
> 
> You should also leave kudos or comment because you love this chapter *wink wink*

“It fits when such a villain is a guest. I won’t endure him.”

“He shall be endured! What, goodman boy! I say he shall. What the-- Am I the master here, or you? What the--You’ll not endure him! God will have to mend my soul. You’ll make a mutiny among my guests. You will bring chaos!”

“But, uncle, we’re being disrespected!”

“Go on, go on. You’re an insolent boy. Is that how it really is? This stupidity will come back to bite you. I know what I’ll do. Do you have to contradict me? I’ll teach you a lesson,” Oikawa turned to address the guests, “Well done, my hearts!”

He once again faced Takahiro, “You’re conceited, go away, or keep your mouth shut--more light, more light!” he said to a passing servant, before continuing to talk to Takahiro, “You should be ashamed. I’ll make you quiet.--Keep making merry, my dear friends!”

In a flash of anger, Takahiro stormed out of the room, his mind full of emotions. He was hurt that his family may be disrespected, he was furious that he could do nothing about it, and he felt betrayed by his Uncle for stopping him. All of these feelings disappeared, however, the moment he realized that because Hajime was there, Issei might be too. He promptly turned on his heel to search out the man of his affections. Luckily, he found him quite quickly. Unluckily, he was laughing with his best friend, Tendou.

He hated Tendou. Tendou could easily start the conversations with Issei that he was unable to. He had always blamed the feud, but he just couldn’t bring himself to talk to the man, even now. Watching him have the time of his life, Takahiro reflected on their interactions, and he could only sigh. He was the problem. He could never get his thoughts together in front of Issei, every time he tried to be nice, it came out wrong. He was too easily antagonized to hold a conversation with the Iwaizumis, including Issei. Watching them begin to dance, Takahiro didn’t feel up to partying anymore. He once again turned around and quickly fled the scene. He could barely hold back his tears, some of them spilling over. He didn’t want this. He didn’t want to feel this way, he didn’t want to love Issei. He wanted to be normal. He wanted to love someone who could actually love him back. He would have had more luck with Kiyoko than Issei. As he reached his room, he slammed the door and he couldn’t keep it inside anymore.

He cried. He cried hard, bawling and sobbing bitterly. He wanted to go home. A thought that might have made him laugh had he been feeling different, he was home. He was in his house, at least. This didn’t feel like home anymore. What was home? All of the moments he shared with Issei. Even earlier that day, when he had been hurt to find Issei dueling because he never practiced with him and ended up enraged, a part of him still felt happy just soaking up Issei’s attention. This only served to make him cry harder. He stopped as a thought came to him. Maybe it was brought on by lovesick delirium, but he had made up his mind; he sat down and wrote a letter. He knew this was deadly thinking, but that was exactly what he wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for emotional whiplash next chapter. It takes such a 360 people have been known to pass out.   
> Anyway, I really hope you enjoyed that because the next big sad chapter will not be for a while :D


	16. "As my prayer takes effect."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't post anything yesterday, I'm sorry!  
> I also haven't worked on this for two days because I have reached Act 2, which is basically a Hallmark movie as a book.  
> I just have to get through this and it gets interesting again!

Back at the party, the guests’ cheers continued to increase in volume, oblivious to Takahiro’s problems. Hajime, summoning all of his courage, crossed the room to, what he assumed to be, the woman of his dreams. He grabbed her hand, blushing, and turned his head away before talking, “My hand is too unworthy, it plagues yours, a sacred shrine. The gentle sin is this: my lips, two blushing pilgrims, stand ready to smooth the rough touch with a tender kiss.”

“Good pilgrim, you wrong your hand too much. What mannerly devotion this shows, for saints have hands that pilgrims often hold. And palm to palm is just like a kiss,” Tooru giggled, not knowing he was once again being confused for a girl.

“Don’t saints have lips, and pilgrims too?”

“Yes, pilgrim--lips that they must use in prayer.”

“O then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do. Please grant my prayer or my faith will turn into despair,” said Hajime, the heaviness he had felt for weeks was melting away. He was so happy just talking to this girl, he wanted her. He longed for this conversation to last forever.

“Saints do not move, even for prayer’s sake.”

“Then don’t move as my prayer takes effect.”


	17. Panic!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I wrote the first scene for act two! I can do this! I will make it! Lol  
> Also, I realized I said that there was a 360 in the story two(?) chapters back, I meant 180. I must have forgotten how circles worked, I guess.   
> I forgot how circles worked, that is how great of a 180 that 180 was, it was so powerful it felt like a 360! If I say it enough you might believe me. :D  
> I'm totally fine.  
> I've been questioning the length of the chapters, I think they might be a bit short, but I feel committed since we are already 17 chapters in!
> 
> I hope you enjoy the story!

With that, Hajime leaned in. Tooru was shocked. It was only a small peck, but it felt like everything. He may have been a romantic, but he had never felt that way before. They might have just met, but Tooru already knew he wouldn’t recover from this love. Even if it didn’t work out, it would be there forever. They pulled back and stared into each other’s eyes. All of the feelings from that kiss instantly intensified watching each other. Tooru lost his ability to breathe when Hajime’s lips started to move again.

“Now, from my lips, by yours, my sin has been removed,” Hajime said, sounding as breathless as Tooru felt.

He wanted to feel the rush again, so Tooru intertwined his fingers with the ones from the hand that had never left. Then, he smirked, “Then my lips have the sin that they took.” Hajime, rising to the unspoken challenge, quipped, “Sin from my lips? You sweetly urge my crime, give me my sin again.”

This time, they both leaned in.

* * *

“You kiss by the book,” Tooru said.

“Sir, your mother wants a word with you,” Saeko said to Tooru as she walked over.

As Tooru walks away, Hajime freezes. He had no idea Tooru was a boy, but, somehow, he didn’t mind. The bi-panic began to settle in, and Hajime paled. He liked a boy. He liked a boy. Maybe he misheard, or misunderstood, he grabbed Saeko and asked, “Who was that?”

Saeko chirped, “Young bachelor, that was the son of the lady of the house. And a good man, and wise and virtuous. I nursed her son, who you were talking to. I tell you, the man that marries him will be very wealthy,” with that she walked away, blissfully unaware of the panic she had reignited.


	18. "A rhyme I learned"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At least I know that some of my chapters are over 1250 characters because I accidentally put them into the summary first.  
> Congratulations! Upon reading this chapter you will have finished Act 1! Only four more to go! ;)

Hajime couldn’t believe that his girl was a boy. He was in love with him. He was in love with an Oikawa. Before he could dive too deeply into his thoughts, Issei walked up to him.

“Away we go! The dance is at its best, so it is the best time to leave,” he said.

“Yes, but I fear that my trouble has deepened.”

“No, gentlemen, don’t prepare to go. We have a trifling good dessert coming--ah, is that so? Well, then, I thank you all. I thank you, honest gentlemen. Good night.--more torches here!--Come on then, let’s get to bed,” Oikawa said, he then addressed his cousin, “Ah, cousin, I swear, it’s growing late. I’ll be going to get rest.”

As Oikawa headed upstairs, the guests, family members, and servants began to disperse. As the crowd thinned, Tooru found Saeko.

“Come here, Saeko, who is that gentleman?” Tooru asked, pointing at a random guest leaving their house.

“The son and heir of old Tiberio.”

“Who’s he, the one going through the door?”

“I think that he is young Petruchio.”

“Who’s the one that follows there, that would not dance?”

“I don’t know.”

“Go ask his name,” as Saeko left, Tooru thought to himself. He didn’t know what he would do if the man was married. He didn’t want to marry anyone else. He had been so busy with the man he had forgotten all about Sugawara.

“His name is Hajime, and he’s an Iwaizumi. The only son of your great enemy.”

Tooru faltered for a moment, shocked. This was worse than the man being married. He was so out of it that he began talking to himself, “My only love has sprung from my only hate! I saw him too early, unknown, and now I know who he is too late! A grotesque birth of love that I should fall for a loathed enemy.”

“What’s this? What’s this?” Saeko asked.

“A rhyme I learned from someone I danced with,” he replied.

There was a shout for Tooru and both he and Saeko went to answer.


	19. "He doesn't want to be found."

“Can I go forward when my heart is here? I must go back and find my center.”

As Hajime talked to himself, he turned back to the mansion. He was set on talking to Tooru again. He just missed Issei and Tendou, who were looking for him. Issei called out, “Hajime, my cousin, Hajime, Hajime!”

"He is wise, and, I bet on my life, he has stolen away to bed.”

“He ran this way and leaped the orchard wall. Call to him, good Tendou.”

“Call? I’ll conjure him like a spirit! Hajime! Humours, madman, passion, lover! Appear to us like a sigh! Speak a rhyme and I will be happy. Cry, ‘Ah me!’ Say the words ‘love’ and ‘dove.’ Speak one word to the goddess Venus. Say the nickname of her blind son and heir, young Abraham Cupid, the one who shot so true when King Cophetua loved the maid.--He doesn’t hear, he doesn’t move, he doesn’t stir. The ape Hajime is dead, and I must conjure him.--I conjure you by Kiyoko’s bright eyes, by her forehead and her scarlet lips. By her fine foot, straight leg, and quivering thigh, and the region that lies right next to it. I command you to appear to us.”

“And if he hears you, he will be angry,” Issei said.

“This cannot anger him. It would anger him if I conjured a strange spirit in his mistress’ circle to make it stay there until she had sex with it. That would cause spite. I simply spoke fair and honest words. I used his mistress' name only to conjure him up.”

“Come, he has hidden himself among the trees to keep the humorous night company. His love is blind, and it best befits the dark.”

“If love is blind, it cannot hit its mark. Now he will sit under a medlar tree and wish that Kiyoko were that kind of fruit as maids call them when they laugh alone.--O Hajime, I wish she were! I wish she were an open-arse, and you a Popperin pear. Hajime, good night. I’m headed to my trundle bed. This open field is too cold for me to sleep in.--Come, shall we go?”

“Let’s go then, for it’s vain to seek him when he doesn’t want to be found.”


	20. "She is so envious."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adding so many tags to force a lot of different search results to make this story pop up is apparently my hobby. Also, this chapter probably has the least amount of paragraphs so far and only one person talks. It's so new and different. XD

Issei and Tendou resumed walking to the Iwaizumi manor. They figured Hajime would be back eventually. Hajime, however, was absolutely peachy with the thought of living in Tooru’s garden for the rest of his life. He had heard the men poke fun at him, but he didn’t care. Tendou had been joking about scars that had never been cut.

He quickly looked up as he heard some noise. He could barely believe what he saw, it was Tooru! He had accidentally hidden underneath the man’s window. It was weird to think that Tooru was a man when he possessed such feminine traits. Hajime had been so sure he was a woman. Hajime basked in his radiance and he realized Tooru was his sun.

He wanted nothing more than to see the beautiful sun rise up and kill the envious moon. However, he remained stuck to the bricks under his beloved’s balcony. He felt conflicted. This was the woman he loved, but she was no woman. Would he be able to love a man? For now, Hajime gazed up at the moon, who was already sickly pale with grief. Hajime thought that must have been because Tooru, her maid, was much more beautiful than she was. (AN: The moon’s goddess is Diana, who is a virgin and all of the virgins worship the moon. Or something like that)

“Don’t be her maid since she is so envious,” the whisper left his lips before he could stop it. It seemed that now that he had begun, he needed to get his thoughts out. He hoped that it might also help him understand these new feelings. So, he continued to whisper up to the balcony, “Her virginity makes her look sick and green. And no one but fools wear it. Cast it off! Oh there’s my lad--” he stopped himself. If he really wanted to know if he could love a man, he would have to think of Tooru as one.


	21. "Oh my!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hajime being in love, trespassing, and a romantic.  
> The next chapter will be centered on Tooru's feelings.  
> *The next chapter will be centered on Tooru's feelings*  
> **Has to rewrite the next chapter because at the time I wasn't thinking about Tooru even though it was about him**

“There’s my man, my love. Oh, how I wish he knew he was!” he carefully walked out from under the balcony. He crept to the shadows cast by the trees and looked up. He saw Tooru talking to himself. At least I’m not the only one, he thought with a smirk.

He watched the man speak to himself for a while. He wished to know what he was saying. He looked up and saw his eyes. In his eyes, he saw so many emotions. Tooru’s eyes told so much, yet so little. Hajime could see the yearning, however, and decided to answer. He almost opened his mouth, when he stopped. Tooru couldn’t possibly want to talk to him. One, they were both men, and two, they were on opposite sides of an old feud. Hajime was bold, but he wasn’t that bold. He couldn’t, however, tear himself away from those eyes.

The fairest stars in all of the heavens could have faded away, and Tooru’s eyes would have replaced them in an instant. Hajime shook his head. No, he thought, Tooru’s eyes were the brightest stars to ever grace the sky. The brightness of his cheeks shamed the other stars the same way daylight did to a lamp. His eyes in heaven would stream so bright through the air, that birds would forget it was night and begin to sing. Hajime was so entranced with his beauty he began to unconsciously walk closer to the man. He had reached the edge of the shadows when he stopped.

He watched as Tooru leaned his cheek on his hand. He wished to be a glove on that hand so that he could touch Tooru’s cheek.

“Oh my!”

Hajime was startled by the sudden noise. Sh--He spoke. He wished the bright angel would speak again. Tooru looked glorious that night. To Hajime, the man seemed to shine on the balcony above, like an angel of heaven that makes the wide, wondering eyes of mortals gaze up at him; watching as he walked across the lazy clouds and sailed through the sky.


	22. Mysterious Ground-Alien

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a surprise, I haven't posted twice a day in a while! Anyway, Tooru being dramatic and questioning his reality because of a voice that didn't come from the sky. Honestly, I would be more worried if it did come from the sky, but maybe that's just me.
> 
> I wonder who the mysterious ground alien is, I know it's obvious, but I also become unable to predict things when reading a story. So if I wasn't writing it, and it had been a few hours since I read the last chapter, I'd give myself 50/50 odds. This is coming from someone who could not guess the backstabber of Percy Jackson book 1 and they blatantly threw that in your face.  
> "I'll die with these shoes"  
> "I guess he forgot"  
> Me: okay, he forgot, final answer.  
> *Wastes time with water call thing*  
> Me: why are they doing this, nothing is happening, why is it here. (I was so close, so close but I never guessed him.)  
> Also Me: I wOnDeR wHo DoEs ThE bEtRaYaL i WaS pRoMiSeD, what if it's the girl or the other girl, what if it's the satyr, what if it's the centaur, what if it's anyone besides who it is.

Tooru needed a break from Saeko to process what was happening. He had headed to his balcony and looked up at the stars. Maybe they had the answer he was looking for. He called out to the stars, while dramatically flinging himself against the railing, “O Hajime, Hajime! Why are you Hajime? Deny your father and refuse his name. Or, if you won’t, but swear to love me, I’ll no longer be an Oikawa!” 

Tooru looked up at the stars from his spot and glared. So, his problem would not be solved just by yelling it into the night. What was he supposed to do now? He sighed, his anger fading into sadness. He spoke once again, this time to the ground since the stars were **not** helpful. Yes, he gave them one final glare before resuming.

“It is your name that is my enemy. You are yourself, even if you aren’t an Iwaizumi. What is an Iwaizumi? It isn’t a hand or foot, or an arm, or face, or any other body part on a man. O, be some other name! What’s in a name? That thing which we call a rose would, by any other name, smell just as sweet. So Hajime would, if he weren’t called Hajime, retain the perfection he owns without the title. Hajime, remove your name. And for your name, which is not a part of you, take all of me.”

“I take you at your word. Call me love, and I’ll be new. From now on I will never be Hajime.”

Tooru was shocked. He stared dumbly at the ground, blinking a few times. Before that night he believed the sky held the answers to all of his questions because of aliens, who knew every secret of the universe, but the truth was that the ground held the mass of secret life forms? As he questioned his whole life, he called out to the mysterious ground-alien, “W-who are you that, that you hide in the night, and hear my thoughts?”


	23. "Without your love."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Starts catching up with myself again* why is this happening?  
> *Has posted every day while not adding more to the story since Tuesday* I have no idea how this happened!  
> It's such a mystery.  
> Also, apparently, the world, where everyone lives, isn't too important since they put it at risk all the time on things like love, hours after they met. That is their go-to for this story. Maybe it's not, and my memory is messed up on how many times they have referenced the world in this way. But it is definitely at least two times. And that is just two times too much for me.

“I don’t know how to tell you who I am with a name. My name, dear saint, is hateful to me because it is an enemy to you. Had I written it, I would tear it up.”

He couldn’t help but smile, “My ears haven’t yet heard a hundred words of that voice, yet I know the sound. Are you not Hajime, and an Iwaizumi?”

“Neither, not if you dislike one of them,” Hajime replied light-heartedly, but he was serious.

“How did you come here? And why? The orchard walls are high and hard to climb and, considering who you are, if any of my relatives find you, you will be dead,” Tooru said. He really wanted Hajime to stay, but he also wanted him alive. If that meant having to send him away, Tooru would do it.

“With love’s light wings, I flew over these walls. Stony limits cannot hold love back and what love can do, love dares attempt. Therefore, your relatives cannot stop me.”

Tooru rolled his eyes, “If they see you, they will murder you.”

“Alas, there is more peril in your eyes than twenty of their swords. Look at me sweetly and I am invincible against their hatred.”

“I would give the world for them not to see you here.”

“I have the cloak of night to protect me from their eyes, and if you don’t love me, let them find me here. My life is better ended by their hate than to die after having lived without your love.”


	24. Chapter 24

“And who directed you to this place?”

“My love, that first prompted me to search for you. He lent me his help and I lent him eyes. I am no sailor. Yet, if you were as far away as the vast shore, washed away in the farthest sea, I would adventure to find you.”

“You know the mask of night is on my face, or else a maiden blush would be visible from what you have heard me say tonight. I would dwell on good manners and happily, happily deny what I have spoken. But, farewell good manners! Do you love me? I know you will say ‘yes,’ and I will take your word. Yet if you swear, it may prove false. When lovers lie, they say Jupiter laughs. O gentle Hajime, if you do love me, say it faithfully. Or if you think I’m too easily won, I’ll frown and be contrary and say no to you, so you will woo me. But else, not for the world. Truthfully, fair Iwaizumi, I am too fond. Therefore, you may think I’m behaving lightly. But trust me, Hajime, I’ll prove more true than those that are more coy and act strange. I should have been more strange, but you overheard me talking about my true love’s passion. Therefore, pardon me, and don’t assume this yielding to light love, which the dark night has discovered.”

Hajime thought for a moment before deciding to swear his love on the moon. Sure, he had been condemning it earlier, but Tooru didn’t know that, “Sir, by the blessed moon above who makes all of the tips of the trees silver, I vow that--”

“Don’t swear by the moon, for the moon is inconsistent with the monthly changes. I don’t want your love to prove likewise variable.”

“What should I swear by?”

“Don’t swear at all. Or, if you must, swear by your gracious self, which is the god I idol, and I’ll believe you.” 


	25. He Saw Some Movement

“If my heart’s dear love--”

“Do not swear! Although I enjoy you, I won’t take joy in this contract tonight. It is too rash, too unadvised, and too sudden. Too like lightening, which goes away to be before anyone can say ‘it lightens.’ My sweet, good night. This bud of love, by summer’s ripening breath, may be a beautiful flower when we meet again. Good night, good night! I hope you get the sweet rest and relaxation that comes to my heart.”

“O, will you really leave me so unsatisfied?”

“What satisfaction can you have tonight?”

“The exchange of your faithful vow for mine.”

“I gave you mine. I gave it to you before you requested it. Yet, I would give it again.”

“Would you withdraw it? For what purpose, love?”

“To be sincere and give it to you again. Yet I wish for the thing I already have. My bounty is as boundless as the sea, and my love as deep. The more I give to you, the more I have, for both are infinite--I hear some noise from inside. Dear love, goodbye.--Just a minute Saeko!--Sweet Iwaizumi, be true. Stay but a little and I will come back,” Tooru said as he left the balcony.

Hajime stood where he was, watching the spot Tooru had just disappeared from. Or, where he thought Tooru had just disappeared from. It was so dark he could barely see the balcony, and he wondered if maybe this was all just a dream. It didn’t seem possible. Before he could worry about it too much, he saw some movement.


	26. "What time should I send the messenger?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When you won't allow him to swear he loves you but demand the marriage proposal

Tooru had appeared again, “Three words, dear Hajime, and then it’s good night indeed. If your love is honorable, you will propose marriage to me, send word tomorrow by a messenger that I will send you; pass on when and where you’ll perform the rite. I’ll lay all of my fortunes at your foot and follow you, my lord, throughout the world.”

“Sir!” Hajime could hear who he assumed was Tooru's nurse calling from the house.

“I’m coming--But if you don’t mean well, I do plead of you--”

“Sir!”

“I! Am! Coming! Saeko!-I plead of you to end your strife and leave me in my grief. Tomorrow.”

“So thrive my soul-”

“A thousand times good night!”

Tooru once again left Hajime alone. He wouldn’t be back this time, yet Hajime refused to move. Leaving his love, he realized, was a thousand times worse than being next to him. When he was going towards Tooru, he felt like a schoolboy fleeing his books, delighted and light. However, when Tooru had to leave him, he felt more despair than a schoolboy on his way to school. He was finally moving to leave as Tooru entered his balcony again.

“Hist! Hajime, hist!-Oh, I wish for a falconer’s voice to lure my falcon back again! I’m imprisoned in my family’s house and may not speak aloud. Otherwise, I would break the cave where Echo lies and her voice more hoarse than mine with the repetition of ‘My Hajime!’”

“It is my soul that calls out my name. The sound of lovers calling through the night is silver-sweet. Like the softest music to listening ears!”

“Hajime!”

“My little falcon?”

“What time should I send the messenger?”


	27. Where are we going? *clap clap clap* to Friar Ennoshita; Where are we going? *clap clap clap* to Friar Ennoshita

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are six scenes in act 2. That means I'm almost halfway done with act two, and that means I'm almost halfway done with writing this! I'm so close, yet so far. Act two is the worst. I have problems. I don't like Romeo and Juliet and them being happy doesn't make me happy. Hajime and Tooru being happy does make me happy though, but I have to read about Romeo and Juliet first and I'm over them.  
> This is why I have a side story and also a side project in my drafts. Bodacious.

"By the hour of nine.”

“I, did you have to say it like that! So dramatic Iwa-chan!”

“Dramatic! I’m dramatic? You’re the one who demanded that I marry you! Also, why are you calling me that?” 

“So you don’t want to marry me! But Iwa-chan, I love you!” Tooru wailed, _dramatically_.

“Stop calling me that! I do want to marry you, Tooru!”

“Well, then, you better send me the message!”

“You better send the messenger!”

“I will!”

“Then I will too!”

Good night!" they yelled at the same time.

With that, the two headed in opposite directions, Tooru heading inside to where Saeko was and Hajime jumping over the fence again. Hajime wasn't heading home, though, he was seeking the help of an old friend. And by old friend, he meant age-wise; he was going to ask Friar Ennoshita to wed them. Hajime didn't know how old he was exactly, but, by his best guess, the friar had to be too old to be human.


	28. Called out a greeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter, used to be a note: this story will be updated on weekends.  
> I really thought this one was longer, but it even shorter than usual.

Friar Ennoshita watched as the darkness of night stumbled away like a drunkard, away from the smiling morning that checkered the clouds with streaks of gentle light. The sun was advancing on his burning eyes, setting out to cheer the day as night’s cold dew dried. He was working to fill his basket with harmful weeds and medical flowers. The earth, nature’s mother and tomb, nourishes the very things it will eventually bury. All of the diverse plants and animals have many excellent virtues, each one different. The powerful grace that resides in herbs, plants, stones, and their true qualities is large. For nothing is so vile lives on earth that it has nothing special to give. The opposite is true in that there is nothing so good that, when used in a foul way, it won’t revolt from its true nature, stumbling on abuse. Virtue itself turns vice, being misused and vice turns to virtue sometimes with dignified actions.

“I really need to get a life if I have this much time to ponder over plants,” he said aloud.

His gaze landed on a delicate-looking flower. He knew the type, it held both poison and powerful medicine. If one were to smell it, they would feel good all over, but if one were to taste it, they would die. Too such opposed kings are found in everything, in men as well as herbs--grace and evil. Where the worser is dominant, evil will kill the body like cancer. Deep in thought, the friar hadn’t noticed Hajime approach him and was startled as the other called out a greeting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ennoshita thinking about plants and good and evil totally makes up for the wait and the shortness, right? Why does Grammarly want to correct Ennoshita to Kinoshita?   
> Tbh, there may be more time in between uploads, but the chapters are still going to be really short. This is just how I work. This is all of the information you are getting today, come back tomorrow! Anyway, I actually really like this chapter, right in between Hajime and Tooru confessing and getting married Ennoshita's just here, collecting ingredients for his side job and nerding out about plants and life.


	29. "Holy Saint Francis!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had too much fun writing this part, lol.
> 
> I put Rosaline, and it was Rosaline for days. It was supposed to be Kiyoko!

“Benedicite. Who greets me here so early? Young son, if you bid your bed goodbye so early, it shows you have a discordant head. Carefulness and worry are embedded in every old man’s eye, and where care lodges, there will never be sleep. The young, unbruised youth with unstuffed brains shouldn’t have a problem resting their limbs and letting golden sleep take over. Therefore, your earliness assures me that you are roused by some disturbance. Or, if that is not the case, then this is the right hit: Our Hajime hasn’t been in bed tonight.”

“The last is true. I had a sweeter rest than sleep could give.”

“May God pardon sin! Were you with Kiyoko?”

“With Kiyoko, my ghostly father? No. I had forgotten that name and the woe it brought me,” Hajime said, caught by surprise.

Friar Ennoshita sighed in relief, “That’s good, my son. But where have you been then?”

“I’ll tell you before you ask it of me again. I went to the feast of my enemy, where suddenly one wounded me and was also wounded by me. The remedies for us lie within your help and holy power. I have no hatred, blessed man, for my request likewise helps my enemy.”

“Be plain, good son, and simple in your intention. A befuddled confession will receive a befuddling answer.”

“I love Oikawa’s son, Tooru, please marry us!” Hajime yelled, bowing. He mentally gave himself a pat on the back, he had practiced referring to Tooru as a male multiple times before approaching the friar, and it looked like his hard work had paid off. If he was being honest, he had prepared a whole speech and he was doing a _great_ job of sticking to it.

“Holy Saint Francis!” Friar Ennoshita shouted, literally taken aback.

“You told me to speak plainly!”

“Don't frighten an old man like that! You have never heeded my advice the first time I give it out, I thought I could expect more excessive buildup from you before you spilled over.”

“Then why did you tell me to do that?”

“To make it seem like I valued my time, honestly. I’m not doing anything later, I guess I can fit you in then,” the friar said, dropping his usual dialect for friaring to show how utterly done he was with this madness.

“Great!”

"Wait a minute!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be fair, Ennoshita had a right to expect another paragraph of useless wordings, I just got inspired by A3! and the Summer Troupe, "give it to me in three words." The next update is Saturday! Yes, this new schedule is working out well for me.


	30. Wisely and slowly

“What, father?”

“Are you certain about this? It seems you are giving up on Kiyoko so quickly. You were in love with her just yesterday, and you’ve moved on already? And to your male enemy no less! Does Tooru Oikawa even want to marry you? Jesus and Mary! All of those salty tears spent seasoning a love with Kiyoko you never tasted.”

“You often scolded me for loving Kiyoko,” Hajime said, not understanding why Friar Ennoshita was saying this.

“I scolded you for obsessing, never loving, my student.”

“You instructed me to bury my love.”

“Not in a grave where you lay one in, to be replaced with another.”

“I pray you don’t scold me. The one I love now returns my love, unlike the girl I loved before.”

“Oh, she knew very well your love was reading without knowing how to spell. But come, young waverer, come with me. I’ll help you in hopes for this being the action that transforms your families’ feud to pure love.”

“Oh, let us go forth. I’m in a rush,” Hajime chirped happily, beginning to walk back through the forest.

“Wisely and slowly. Those that rush will eventually stumble,” the friar sighed, but couldn’t fight back a smile as he followed the young man.


	31. Internal Cackle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't have access to a computer last Sunday so I did not update, but I will update tomorrow! Tendou and Takahiro are really different when it comes to their love life. Takahiro avoids it and cries, and Tendou...internally cackles.

"Where the devil is Hajime? He came home, right?" Tendou asked Issei.

"Not to his father's, I spoke to him," Issei said, a bit concerned.

"Why, the hard-hearted Kiyoko is making him go mad!"

The boys were interrupted as Yahaba approached, bringing a letter addressed to Hajime. Issei took the letter and thanked him. He was startled when he saw who it was from.

"Takahiro sent this letter to Hajime! What if it's a challenge?" He asked, growing more worried.

"Then Hajime is dead as we speak. No, wait, he owed me money!" Tendou responded mournfully.

Issei knew Tendou wasn't taking this seriously, but it was helping him relax so he decided to play along, "Firstly, that is no way to speak of the dead. Secondly, he hasn't even gotten the letter! It's right here in my hands, unopened! We don't even know if it really is a challenge."

"You're right, he can still pay me back!" Tendou cheered, before sighing, "If it is a challenge, I doubt he's man enough to face Takahiro, having already been slain by love."

"Why, what's with Takakhiro?" Issei asked."

Tendou hid a devilish smirk. Since he now had Issei's attention, he could lie about Takahiro and give him no redeemable qualities! Sure, he was Issei's best friend and obvious choice for love interest, but it never hurt to badmouth the competition. For sworn enemies, they sure spent a lot of time together. He was getting giddy at all the possible lies he could forge about Takahiro, he would certainly sprinkle in some of the truth to really sell the whole thing. When he was through with sharing Takahiro's "reputation", Issei wouldn't even be able to think about the man without it leaving a sour taste in his mouth. Yes, this was going to be good, he thought with an internal cackle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *insert internal cackle*


	32. Here Comes Hajime, Here Comes Hajime, Right Down Hajime Lane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hurridly looks up insults and tries hard to make Takahiro sound horrible*  
> Alright, I've got nothing.
> 
> Tendou and Takahiro do have to actually meet later, so if you have any insults please comment them, as I obviously have no clue what I'm doing when it comes to them. It almost seems like Tendou is in awe of him at the end, and that is not what I was going for but I don't know how to fix it. I really want him to just totally hate his guts, there are no qualities that make him even slightly worth-looking into hatred, but I don't know how. I feel like this is harder than the sword fighting scenes because this develops personality and sword fighting, can also develop personality, but it is over a lot faster because adrenaline or whatever. You don't reflect on it at the time. It's not as scary.
> 
> At first, I wasn't sure if I would like Tendou in this story, as I really like MatsuHana, but now that I've written him as a person I relate to a little bit I like him now. I do forgive him for getting in the way of my ship even though I put him there. 
> 
> I feel like Tendou's personality definitely fits into his role, which wasn't even something I was thinking about when I put him there. To be honest, I just typed in Matsukawa Issei/ and waited for the first person who wasn't Takahiro, Tooru, or Hajime to pop up. But now I totally love him here, I think I like the side plot better than the actual story at this point. Tybalt, Mercutio, and Benvolio are definitely my favorite R&J characters, I just love their interactions even though I made most of them up, (they were there, it's just called reading between the lines) so I think it reflects a bit on these guys. My love is probably balanced out by the fact Tooru is my second favorite Haikyuu character, and while I love them, Takahiro, Issei, and Tendou don't come too close.
> 
> How do I rank my favorite Haikyu!! characters? Simple, shipability with my favorite. Well, if you read all of that, wow, you are determined. Have a good rest of your life and enjoy the story.

"Let's just say everyone who ever loved him was wrong, not like there were any. People tolerate him. You already know about his antagonistic personality. He turns every conversation into a swordfight. He's the start of many conversations, the hushed whispers around town, a lot of them are afraid of him. I wish I could say they had no reason to be as he is as dumb as a rock, but the opposite is true. He's a calculative swordfighter who has it down to a science. He fights as you sing. He keeps time, distance, and proportion. Before you know it, his sword is through your heart. He's the butcher of silk buttons, a duelist of the highest order. He knows the immortal passado, the punto reverso, the hai!" Tendou said, trying to sound serious while mentally cartwheeling in joy because this was it. Any progress Takahiro had made towards a fragile friendship with Issei had just disappeared. As he gazed at the aforementioned man's face, he saw shock, worry, and despair. He had done it, there was no longer any room in Issei's heart for Takahiro, which earned him a mental fistbump.

Then, Tendou saw confusion as Issei spoke, "The what?"

"Precisely, the crazy antic fantasmines, the foreign phrases, and newfangled accents. Just because it's French does not mean it's socially acceptable, I get you. Because they have good swords and are tall, good-looking fellows we must put up with them and what they've done! What a lamentable thing, my good sir. Why are we afflicted with these fashion-mongers and 'pardon-me's'-"

"Here comes Hajime, here comes Hajime!" Issei yelled, cutting Tendou off as he grabbed and shook him in his excitement. Hajime was indeed headed their way, but the only thing visible over the top of the garden hedges was his forehead. Issei could identify his cousin by only his forehead, a fact that both impressed and worried Tendou.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes Hajime, here comes Hajime, right down Hajime lane  
> That vixen be blitzin' really pulling on his chain (I'm looking at you, Kiyoko)  
> bells are ringing (in his head), Tendou's singing (be filled with dread), all this is insane  
> So ~~hang your stockings and~~ say your prayers, 'cause Hajime comes tonight
> 
> Tendou is the type of enemy that stalks his enemy for information. He might gather some of it just by listening to people talk about them, but he totally fact-checks everything.
> 
> Sometimes I spend more time on the notes than on the actual chapter, but it is not my fault! I just need a spot to get all my thoughts out and that happens to be the notes! I try to end the chapters to where everything in the chapter goes together, like this chapter was all about Tendou and Issei talking, so when Hajime approached, it added a nice ending. Since we were just talking about the letter we got it also adds some suspense which is always good, even though we already know what's in the letter. A tea party invitation, obviously.
> 
> Okay, I'm done. See you next week!


	33. Don't bite me!

Since Hajime was still so far away, Tendou figured he had time to joke about him to Issei, "He looks so skinny. Like a dried herring without his roe. O flesh, o flesh, you are fishified! Now he's ready for Petrarch's numbers of the women who inspired love. Laura to Hajime's Kiyoko was a kitchen servant--surely, she had a better lover to make rhymes for her-Dido didn't have nice clothes, Cleopatra a gypsy, Helen and Hero sluts and harlots, Thisbe a grey eye or so, but that's not the point.--Signior Hajime, bonjour! There's a French greeting to your sloppy, French pants. You gave us the counterfeit good last night."

"Good morning to you both. What counterfeit did I give you?"

"The slip sir, the slip! Do you not conceive?" Tendou said with mock exasperation.

"Pardon me, good Tendou, my business was very important, and in such a case, I think a man may strain courtesy."

"That's to say, in such a case as yours, constrains a man to bow his ham." (AN: Tendou is suggesting his business was sexual)

"You mean 'to curtsy?'" Hajime asked with a smirk.

"You have most kindly hit the mark."

"A most courteous explanation."

"Yes, I am the pink of courtesy."

"Pink for flower." (AN: Pink flower-female genitalia)

"Right."

"Why, then my pump is well decorated with flowers"

"Sure, my witty friend. Follow me in this joke until your pump has run out, the single sole of it is worn out. The joke remains, and it will be solely singular."

"It is a single-soled joke. It's solely singular for the singularness."

"Come between us, good Issei, I'm losing!" Tendou cried. Issei just rolled his eyes.

"Keep going, keep going, or I'll be the winner!" Hajime said.

"No, if our wits run on a wild-goose chase I am done, for you have more wild-goose in one of your jokes, I am sure, than I do in five of mine. Was I with you in the chase for the goose?"

"You were never with me if you weren't there for the goose."

"I will bite your ear for that one," Tendou said with an offended gasp.

"No, good goose, don't bite me!" Hajime laughed before humor turned to horror as Tendou chased him through the hall, imitating the honks of a goose, "Issei, good cousin! Help me!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Matsukawa is just standing there, listening to them. This is an often occurrence and, being the good child he is, he doesn't join in but he knows by now he can't stop them. He must endure them and their horrible jokes.


	34. A Deadly Look in Her Eye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Refreshing my history for everything still to be latest version. -_- Well, I decree this shall be update available!

Before Tendou could inflict any damage, though he had gotten very close, Issei intervened. He pulled the two apart and handed Hajime the letter, "It's for you, from Takahiro."

"What does it say?"

"We don't know, do you really think we would go through your mail!" Tendou said.

"Yes," Hajime replied bluntly.

"You are too cruel, Hajime!"

Before the two could start another fight, however, they were interrupted. Saeko and Hinata walked up to the group. Hajime let out an internal sigh of relief, he had been worried Tooru was actually mad at him. Unfortunately for him, his two friends were quick to make fun of her appearance.

"Is that a ship there!" Issei crowed.

"Two, two-a man and a woman." Tendou said.

"Hinata!" Saeko yelled.

"Hai!"

"My fan, Hinata," She said with a look that made Hinata jump. He quickly obliged.

"Good, Hinata, to hide her face, for her fan has the fairer face!" Tendou howled, unaware of the exchange. His laughter was cut short when something collided with his skull. The plump woman had just hit him with the fan.

"That is not how you talk about a lady. And if I hear any more of it from any of you," Saeko said, pointing at each of the men with her fan, a deadly look in her eye, "I'll teach you a lesson!"

The three men, startled, replied, "Yes, ma'am."

"Good, now, God give you a good morning."

"God give you a good afternoon," Tendou corrected.

"Is it really that time already?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me, writing this chapter: Issei, you were supposed to be the good one! How could you! You draw the line at sexual jokes but making fun of a woman is okay??
> 
> Also me: That fan is for smacking faces not hiding them. Saeko doesn't take that from anyone. She's about to beat some sense into Tendou. If she can't do it, no one can. #SaekoSuperiority


	35. "Lady, lady, lady"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just watched Romeo and Juliet (2013) and Benvolio was adorable. The pure baby. He didn't insult anybody in that version. He was honestly adorable. Benvolio was the precious <3\. Romeo and Juliet were just kissing for half the movie, but anytime Benvolio was on screen he stole that spotlight. Not even Mercutio could keep up and I love to hate him. 
> 
> The Benvolio this story is inspired by was not so pure and delightful. (Benvolio, your many forms have tricked me. Dishonor on your cow)
> 
> AO3 always tries to set the publication date to the next day. I know I'm writing late, but I would like to believe 9-10:30 does not make my writing futuristic.

"It's no less, I tell you. The risque hand of the clock is on the prick of noon," Tendou said.

"Get out of here! What kind of man are you?" Saeko said.

"I'm one, gentlewoman, that God has made for himself to destroy."

"I swear, that is well said. 'For himself to destroy,' he said? Gentlemen, do any of you know where I may find the young Hajime?"

Hajime smiled before replying, "I can tell you, but young Hajime will be older when you have found him than he was when you looked for him. I am the youngest of the name, for lack of a worse."

"You speak well."

"Yea, is the worst well? Very well taken, I believe, wisely, wisely," Tendou said.

"If you are Hajime, I have something to disgust with you."

"She will indite him to dinner," Issei joked.

Tendou and Issei began walking away from the three, laughing. Before leaving, Tendou called to Hajime, "Are you coming to your father's for lunch?"

"I'll follow you," Hajime yelled back, hoping this would be the end of the two's antics.

Of course, Tendou couldn't leave without bursting into song, "Farewell, ancient lady! Farewell, lady, lady, lady!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to write a little bit more, but this was the best spot to end the chapter since the long dialogue pieces are coming up and it wouldn't break up into chapters well.
> 
> I don't like making jokes or changing jokes because I just know I'll do it horribly wrong but I did it for once! The nurse was supposed to say confidence in place of conference, but I didn't get the joke at first, because you can talk to someone in confidence and that is exactly what the nurse would want to do in this situation, so I changed it and I think it still works.


	36. Go before, go quickly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next post will start the final scene of Act 2! That is when they get married. Then Act 3 happens.

Saeko was fuming, "I pray you, sir, who was that cheeky punk, so full of shameless banter?"

"A man, Saeko, that loves to hear himself speak. He says more in a minute than he does a month."

"If he speaks anything against me, I'll take him down, even if he was stronger than he is, and there were twenty such punks. And if I could not, I would find someone that can. Scurvy knave! I am not his slut! I am not his whore!" Then she turned and focused her anger on Hinata, "And you! You really just stood by and let every knave use me at his pleasure?"

Hinata gulped, "Th-they were us-using you f-for ple-easure? I-I did n-not notice. If I had, my weapon would have been quickly drawn! I promise you, I will draw my sword at any man if I see the occasion is a good quarrel with the law on my side!" By the time he was done talking, Hinata had lost all fear of Saeko, he was too in awe of his own awesomeness. Saeko whacked him on the head to bring him back to reality.

"Now, I swear to God, I am so angry that every part of me quivers. Scurvy knave!" Then she turned to Hajime, who was trying to decide if protecting his head would protect his head or just offend her. "Pray you, sir, a word? As I told you, my young lord told me to ask for you. What he told me to say, I will keep to myself. But first, let me tell you, if you try to lead him to a fool's paradise, if you try and trick him, you will answer to me."

Hajime had never been as terrified as he was now. He never thought being stared down by a little old lady equipped with only a fan would strike fear into his heart. He probably should have expected it with Tendou being his friend, but expecting and being prepared were very different. He was neither. So, quickly, before she could doubt the validity of what he was about to say, he spoke, "Saeko, give my regards to your lord. I swear to you-"

"You have a good heart and, believe me, I'll tell him as much. Lord, Lord, he will be a happy man..."

Hajime was stunned for a minute. It was that easy? He had lost Saeko's attention, however, as she continued to talk about everything she would say to Tooru about him. With a light blush at one of her comments and Hinata looking horrified, he spoke again. "You're not paying attention to me. What will you tell him?"

"I will tell him, sir, that you do protest to him, which, I take, is the most gentlemanlike offer."

"Ask her to devise some means to get to Friar Ennoshita's cell this afternoon. There, we can make our confessions and get married," Hajime said with a loving look, before searching his pockets, "Here, this is for your troubles."

"No, truly sir, I won't take a penny."

"I'll take a penny, sir!" Hinata earned himself another whack of the fan, "Ow!"

Hajime laughed and handed Hinata some change as well, "Go on, I say you shall."

As they pocketed the money, Saeko spoke, "This afternoon, sir? Well, he shall be there!"

The two turned to leave, "Stay, good Saeko, within the hour one of my men will bring you a rope ladder behind the abbey wall. I'll use it to climb to the balcony to see my joy at night. Farewell, be trusty and I will pay you. Farewell and commend me to Tooru."

"Now God in heaven bless you! Listen to me, sir," Saeko said.

"What do you have to say, my dear Saeko?"

"Do your men keep secrets? Have you never heard the saying 'two men can keep counsel, putting the third away?'"

"I assure you, my man's as true as steel."

"Well sir, my young lord is the sweetest man.-Lord, Lord, when he was a little baby.-Oh, there is a nobleman in town, one Sugawara Koushi, that would be pleased to lay knife aboard, but Tooru, good soul, sees a toad, a very toad, the same as him. I anger him sometimes, telling him Koushi is the proper man. But, I'll assure you, when I say that he looks pale as a sheet. Don't rosemary and Romeo start with the same letter?"

"Yes, Saeko, what about it? They both start with 'R.'" 

"Ah, you mocker, that's the dog's name. R is for-No, I know it begins with some other letter. He has the prettiest things to say of it, you and the rosemary. It would do you good to hear."

"Commend me to him."

"Yes, a thousand times.-Hinata!"

"Hai!"

"Here's my fan. Go befre, go quickly."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave your pennies for Hinata below. He might have to find a new job soon, he needs all the help he can get.


End file.
